MonoMonoMommy

The following weeks after that appointment were some of the hardest so far. We were still happy, yet scared and In some ways scared to be happy. We told all our family and friends and began praying our hearts out.

My not so positive specialist said that he could no longer provide me with the intense care I needed and transferred me to a west palm beach doctor.

The first thing they said that needed to be done was a amnio test where they stick a needle into the womb and withdrawal amniotic fluid and test it for all chromosomal problems.

I was hesitant. There is a 1 in 100 chance of miscarriage following the test. But after thinking about if for awhile I decided I wanted to be able to prepare myself if there was some issue so I would know how to care for my child and have knowledge on my side.

I met 3 different doctors and every single one was more than positive that there would be Down syndrome in both babies. Every visit made me even more discouraged than the last.

The day came for the amnio and they laid me back. I was so tense. Michael left the room.. Needles aren't his cup of tea, especially a 6in one. So, there I laid with my mom holding my hand. I am normally so calm but this had me freaking out ..something about a needle next to my babies ..

"What if you prick them?"

"What if I lose them all together?!"

But they proceeded. There was pressure that had me curling my toes but the pain was minimal. The fluid was drawn within minuets, even though it felt like forever.

They said no house work or any type of lifting.. I had to rest for 3 days.

They also said the results would be back in three weeks but the doctor added that she'd try to get them sooner so, if I chose to abort then I wouldn't miss the legal cut off which is 23wks and at that time I was 20w2d.

We went home and began waiting.

In this waiting time my new doctor said I would have to deliver in Miami so I needed to go meet a infant cardiologist, a obgyn and the heart surgeon who would perform the heart surgery after delivery in Miami. So thats what we did.

We spent a whole day in Miami meeting some of the most highly skilled, reassuring doctors who genuinely cared. I even spoke to the surgeon about the corpus collosum in the brain and he said that in some cases they actually divide it to stop seizures that are happening within children and the children live normal lives.. Wow! After weeks of being told baby "B" was doomed, it was my rainbow. I knew God had handpicked these doctors and place them in my life. They have been truly amazing.

A week went by and it was our appointment day to see what some of the results from the amnio were. I was so anxious. I know Michael was also.

We walked into the genetic counselors office and sat down. She began a family tree that she wanted to trace back to where illnesses came from in our family history .. I wanted to crumble up her little tree and say..

"I've waited long enough give me the news!"

After being on the edge of my chair for 10min she finally said ..

"We haven't got your test results in yet."

Ugh, what a downer! What a waste of a trip, is how I felt.

She then said we now had less than a week to legally do the abortion and that if we chose to do so, they would send us to another state that performs late term abortions. I was angry. Here I am sitting there with these babies kicking my ribs loose and your telling me to kill them? I can feel them, they are real! Who are we to say who's life is valuable and important? God wouldn't have given these babies to us for us to just throw a away. They have a purpose. A calling. A plan. And who am I to stand in the way of that?

That was the day I decided I wasn't going to listen to other peoples opinions or views and stop hanging on to every word a doctor says. He isn't god and doesn't know the out come any better than I do.

Well, we left the appointment went home and about two hours later the phone rang. It was the counselor she said the results had JUST came in and there were NO chromosomal issues in either baby and they were perfectly fine!!!!!! (other than the corpus collosum and heart issue in baby B.)

what an amazing moment my face lit up and Michael gave me a huge hug. I called my mom and told her and we cried,just overjoyed. God is good.

After that it was game time in my head. These babies have a chance and I'm ready to fight and do all I can to get them here, in my arms safely.